An Extraordinary Difference

Although this blog is about extraordinary networks, I confess that the phrase “extraordinary networks” is an oxymoron. There is nothing about a “network” that is extraordinary. We may be connected to extraordinary people, know a lot of people, or perhaps just a few incredible people, and none of that necessarily leads to an "extraordinary network."

There is no deception here, just an intention to clarify that a network represents possibilities, extraordinary possibilities... The extraordinary network embodies the art of creating with others to make an extraordinary difference in their lives, and to make an extraordinary difference in your own.

There’s a big difference, and then there’s an Extraordinary Difference.

Many things can make a difference in our lives. Wealth, education, travel, and time are just a few things I often her people say they want more of, in life. Most of us probably believe that having "more of" these things in life will make us richer, smarter, more sophisticated and even happier. Sorry to be Debbie Downer here, some people have all of these things and it doesn’t make a difference, they're still miserable.

Your circumstances won’t necessarily make you extraordinary.

Extraordinary is who you get to be in the face of any circumstance (e.g. wealth, job loss, career, etc.). Being extraordinary occurs as though you've got it all, even when you don't. Is extraordinary is who you are when you take actions and produce results regardless of your circumstances.

An extraordinary difference is created from the impact you have on life. It’s a contribution to another human being. It's the value you choose to bring, just because you can.

Most people don’t see themselves as extraordinary, and yet each and every one of us has the unique and remarkable capacity to make a difference for another human being.

Making An Extraordinary Difference

Making an extraordinary difference is about who you choose to be in very ordinary moments.

Imagine being inspired, not because someone is inspiring you but because you know what is to be someone who inspires another. We've all done it. There is someone in your life, right at this moment who looks up to you, is inspired by you, wants to be like you.

An extraordinary network happens in the ordinary moments when you allow others to see how extraordinary you really are.

Rule for the Week: Relationships require someone extraordinary - be that someone!

Bound by Trust

It's logical, even necessary, to think of how the people we include in our Networks help us. We count on our Networks to support our objectives, reach our aspirations and to fulfill our possibilities. Our Networks are the leading source for employment opportunities, advice, mentoring and other valuable insights that make a difference in our day-to-day lives.

The Extraordinary Network is bound by trust.

The Extraordinary Network is based on formative relationships. Unlike networks primarily formed by distant connections and weak ties, the Extraordinary Network relies on personally investing trust in another, before that trust has been earned. Extending trust to the people in your Network powerfully generates loyalty and value in your connections.

Sometimes, we count on the People in our Networks to deliver favors and promises that go unfulfilled. These unmet expectations often result in disappointments that distance us from the connection, causing estrangement and an inability to influence through the people we are connected to. We are all human and it is easy to be let down, especially when the disappointment comes with something that’s at stake. When this happens, it’s important to remember that the Extraordinary Network is fueled by your generosity and willingness to trust. The actions others fail to take may disappoint you but, be mindful not to characterize the person as a disappointment.

There’s no need to step over promises that are broken. Addressing the matter, rather than ignoring the individual provides valuable feedback and can restore the relationship at a higher level of influence and performance. Always remember that "Your" actions are what matter most, in any relationship.

The Extraordinary Network is all about you, and your Extraordinary being!

Extraordinary Networks Arise from Trusting Connections.

On occasion, the phrase “Networking” provokes an image of strangers on a mission, delivering smart-sounding elevator pitches, engaging in animated small talk, and quick to offer network collectibles, otherwise known as business cards.

Not long ago, the business card often outlasted any recollection of the conversation, the person, or the potential for the connection. Thankfully, the practice of networking has become a stickier proposition. Shortly after meeting, we extend invitations to link and join, and make requests to follow. Social networking technology facilitates the follow-up and the creation of communities however; technology alone does not create trust or develop the connection.

Trust is the life-blood of your network.

Credibility, support and influence are the by-products of trust, and enable your network to have currency. Stated simply, the value of a network is only as great as the trust present in the relationship. Trust equals currency. Be careful not to equate proximity or frequency of interaction (with a connection) with trust.

I offer the following as an example of a relationship that may be, “close, but not trusting. “

Your colleague and neighbor Eddie is someone you see almost daily. You lent him $500.00 he promised to repay last summer, but now the subject doesn’t come up, unless you mention it. It’s likely you trusted him more before you lent him the money, than you do now. And you may still consider your connection to Eddie a close one. However, close does not equal trust.

Trust begins with you.

Following-up and being in contact, and are important to the evolution of your network. The more your new and existing connections learn about you, and what you’re up to, the more affinity you’re likely to generate. Beware, in are efforts to create value for others in our networks, there are times we make promises we don’t keep. If this sounds familiar, it’s important to clear the air. Mistakes happen, we all make them. However, avoiding the people in our network because of our own mistakes is dangerous. Avoidance is a leading cause of loss of credibility and trust and relegates our networks to “ordinary,” non-productive relationships.

Being responsible means owning our mistakes, establishing new promises, and communicating our results – whatever they are!

Networks work when connections are trusted.

Sometimes, credibility comes from the people you are connected to because THEY have amazing credibility. Their integrity is big enough to carry others. They are the examples that “a powerful network elevates the leader.” That credibility comes from integrity.

Integrity is essential to an Extraordinary Network. Integrity implies something that is whole, and being whole allows you to own your promises and your actions when they work, and even when they don’t.

When trust is formed, it is the trusting connection that gives you power to form an extraordinary network.