An Extraordinary Difference

Although this blog is about extraordinary networks, I confess that the phrase “extraordinary networks” is an oxymoron. There is nothing about a “network” that is extraordinary. We may be connected to extraordinary people, know a lot of people, or perhaps just a few incredible people, and none of that necessarily leads to an "extraordinary network."

There is no deception here, just an intention to clarify that a network represents possibilities, extraordinary possibilities... The extraordinary network embodies the art of creating with others to make an extraordinary difference in their lives, and to make an extraordinary difference in your own.

There’s a big difference, and then there’s an Extraordinary Difference.

Many things can make a difference in our lives. Wealth, education, travel, and time are just a few things I often her people say they want more of, in life. Most of us probably believe that having "more of" these things in life will make us richer, smarter, more sophisticated and even happier. Sorry to be Debbie Downer here, some people have all of these things and it doesn’t make a difference, they're still miserable.

Your circumstances won’t necessarily make you extraordinary.

Extraordinary is who you get to be in the face of any circumstance (e.g. wealth, job loss, career, etc.). Being extraordinary occurs as though you've got it all, even when you don't. Is extraordinary is who you are when you take actions and produce results regardless of your circumstances.

An extraordinary difference is created from the impact you have on life. It’s a contribution to another human being. It's the value you choose to bring, just because you can.

Most people don’t see themselves as extraordinary, and yet each and every one of us has the unique and remarkable capacity to make a difference for another human being.

Making An Extraordinary Difference

Making an extraordinary difference is about who you choose to be in very ordinary moments.

Imagine being inspired, not because someone is inspiring you but because you know what is to be someone who inspires another. We've all done it. There is someone in your life, right at this moment who looks up to you, is inspired by you, wants to be like you.

An extraordinary network happens in the ordinary moments when you allow others to see how extraordinary you really are.

Rule for the Week: Relationships require someone extraordinary - be that someone!

Bound by Trust

It's logical, even necessary, to think of how the people we include in our Networks help us. We count on our Networks to support our objectives, reach our aspirations and to fulfill our possibilities. Our Networks are the leading source for employment opportunities, advice, mentoring and other valuable insights that make a difference in our day-to-day lives.

The Extraordinary Network is bound by trust.

The Extraordinary Network is based on formative relationships. Unlike networks primarily formed by distant connections and weak ties, the Extraordinary Network relies on personally investing trust in another, before that trust has been earned. Extending trust to the people in your Network powerfully generates loyalty and value in your connections.

Sometimes, we count on the People in our Networks to deliver favors and promises that go unfulfilled. These unmet expectations often result in disappointments that distance us from the connection, causing estrangement and an inability to influence through the people we are connected to. We are all human and it is easy to be let down, especially when the disappointment comes with something that’s at stake. When this happens, it’s important to remember that the Extraordinary Network is fueled by your generosity and willingness to trust. The actions others fail to take may disappoint you but, be mindful not to characterize the person as a disappointment.

There’s no need to step over promises that are broken. Addressing the matter, rather than ignoring the individual provides valuable feedback and can restore the relationship at a higher level of influence and performance. Always remember that "Your" actions are what matter most, in any relationship.

The Extraordinary Network is all about you, and your Extraordinary being!

The Extraordinary Power of Introductions

The Extraordinary Power of Introductions

There are times when my life seems to have a pervasive theme.

In recent weeks, the theme is “the extraordinary power of introductions.”

If you are a sales professional, the value of an introduction is likely very obvious to you. For human beings developing powerful personal networks, the value of an introduction is even greater! Every introduction conveys trust and personal credibility. However, I’ve seen many professionals (myself included) squander opportunities to form influential relationships because the value of the introduction was misunderstood.

A great example of this is the growth of my consulting practice from the many referrals of former colleagues, clients and consulting peers. I always thought referrals were great – there was already a purpose to address - and introductions were “nice, polite, but not necessary.” Introductions appeared valuable when and if there was a direct connection to an opportunity for business. To my own surprise, I had formed that conclusion without ever really considering what distinguishes the referral from the introduction.

Referrals Resolve Needs

Referrals and Introductions are both important to generating business, developing communities and fostering “the network.” A succinct description of the Referral’s role is “ it resolves an expressed need.” In a transactional world, the Referral is king!

Referrals are most often in response to a specific need, or request and when successful, the result is a problem or need resolved. When we ask for a Referral (and we do it all the time) we are stating a need. “Do you have a good physician, attorney, do you know of a nice Mediterranean restaurant?”

Introductions Are Catalysts for Possibility

At a recent conference hosted by the Merrill Lynch Women’s Exchange, Edythe DeMarco, a successful Merrill Lynch financial advisor, shared how she was employing introduction strategies to become connected to a new network of women in the medical profession. She had clients who wanted to acknowledge her for providing valuable information, and recognize her contributions by introducing her to other successful women. Her excitement was palpable! Suddenly, what I heard her say was more than “that’s nice, polite, but not necessary.” What I heard was “I don’t know what you’ll create, but I want you to know people I know.” The Introduction emerged as a catalyst for possibility and, I was incredibly excited, too.

The Introduction may appear less immediate, considering the transactional nature of the referral. However, the Introduction is an essential element of extraordinary relationships. Introductions are powerfully backed by “the full, faith and credit” of the individual introducing you and are open to whatever you are out to create with another person.

The Introduction states an association to someone trusted, and conveys credibility, allowing a space for exploration, collaboration, and ultimately a relationship.

Perhaps the best thing about the Introduction is the expression of confidence that a “need” is not required to merit the connection. That kind of confidence emboldens the potential for an unconditional, powerful and extraordinary relationship.

Not Your Daddy's Old Boys Network...

I posted this on the Forte Foundation blog for their upcoming Women's Conference. There's a lot of talk about networking and social networks but, so many people are still uncomfortable with what it means "to network." In my coaching practice, I work with clients to manage their networks and the conversation often begins from the vantage point of this post. 

You’ve got career aspirations, the MBA, and experience. You have a network of colleagues and former classmates and there was a time when that was all you needed to be assured of a “good career.” Times have changed and in a global market, battling a global recession, it will take something more to make you unstoppable in the wake of the unpredictable. That something more is an “Extraordinary Network.”

Unlike the “Old Boys Network” of the past, having an extraordinary network gives you access to people, ideas, thinking and opportunities that lie outside traditional, hierarchical, insular networks that have been defined by upbringing, education and employment.  If your Dad retired with a gold watch, after a 35-year career with the same employer, rest assured you probably won’t. 

Professionals in today’s workforce are vulnerable to continued market shifts, including globalization and M&A, that disrupt existing career paths while creating new, yet to be defined, opportunities. In fact, it’s likely that your post-MBA career will be the source of numerous on-ramp events in the form of new roles, new cities, new companies, and industries. And there will be transitional, off-ramp experiences prompted by your own life choices, and unforeseen organizational events (i.e. restructurings, relocations, and reductions in force) causing intermittent dislocation, and even economic insecurity.  Whether you are on-ramping, off-ramping or holding steady, your extraordinary network is the access to influence, innovation, and choice in a changing world.

The “Extraordinary Network” is diverse, resilient and adaptive to your life’s objectives. Where the “Old Boys Network” was often created by tenure, longevity and hierarchy, the Extraordinary Network involves the relationships we have, and the relationships we actively create to make things happen, that wouldn’t have happened otherwise. The Extraordinary network is dynamic and actively managed throughout your career. It’s vibrancy gives life to the axiom “the Network elevates the leader,” generating expansive influence and support to deliver powerful results.