An Extraordinary Difference

Although this blog is about extraordinary networks, I confess that the phrase “extraordinary networks” is an oxymoron. There is nothing about a “network” that is extraordinary. We may be connected to extraordinary people, know a lot of people, or perhaps just a few incredible people, and none of that necessarily leads to an "extraordinary network."

There is no deception here, just an intention to clarify that a network represents possibilities, extraordinary possibilities... The extraordinary network embodies the art of creating with others to make an extraordinary difference in their lives, and to make an extraordinary difference in your own.

There’s a big difference, and then there’s an Extraordinary Difference.

Many things can make a difference in our lives. Wealth, education, travel, and time are just a few things I often her people say they want more of, in life. Most of us probably believe that having "more of" these things in life will make us richer, smarter, more sophisticated and even happier. Sorry to be Debbie Downer here, some people have all of these things and it doesn’t make a difference, they're still miserable.

Your circumstances won’t necessarily make you extraordinary.

Extraordinary is who you get to be in the face of any circumstance (e.g. wealth, job loss, career, etc.). Being extraordinary occurs as though you've got it all, even when you don't. Is extraordinary is who you are when you take actions and produce results regardless of your circumstances.

An extraordinary difference is created from the impact you have on life. It’s a contribution to another human being. It's the value you choose to bring, just because you can.

Most people don’t see themselves as extraordinary, and yet each and every one of us has the unique and remarkable capacity to make a difference for another human being.

Making An Extraordinary Difference

Making an extraordinary difference is about who you choose to be in very ordinary moments.

Imagine being inspired, not because someone is inspiring you but because you know what is to be someone who inspires another. We've all done it. There is someone in your life, right at this moment who looks up to you, is inspired by you, wants to be like you.

An extraordinary network happens in the ordinary moments when you allow others to see how extraordinary you really are.

Rule for the Week: Relationships require someone extraordinary - be that someone!

2010. A Year of Resolutions Fulfilled!

We stand at the start of a new year, the beginning of a new decade, a unique moment of creation for all that we aspire. Our lives are filled with the promise and possibility of declarations for the New Year. Whether newly inspired or the resurrected dreams of the past, our resolutions breathe with intentionality and purpose. Our declarations are alive and free, unburdened by the past and gleaming with potential.

The Economic Times states, “while statistics show that more women (74% women versus 58% men) make New Year resolutions and more men (22% men against 14% women) are likely to actually keep them, experts say that people fail because they make the wrong resolutions.” The article continues with suggestions on how to remain resolute about your New Year’s resolution. Another article indicated that less than half of the resolutions made at the start of the New Year are still in existence after six months.

While much is written about the New Year’s resolution, there is little offered to help us transform the potential of our resolutions into reality. So here’s my take on how to improve your chances of fulfilling on your resolutions in 2010.

Share your resolutions with others.

There is an enthusiasm and energy in the first days of a new year that infuses our actions and ideas. As days pass, the vitality of our intention begins to wane and the courage and commitment to accomplish our resolution diminishes.

Share your resolutions with others and let them know what you’re up to. Involve people you trust as partners to your intended success. A partner or multiple “resolution partners” can offer encouragement to support your commitment when your will falters.

Resolutions can build Extraordinary Networks.

"For myself, the sky is the limit. But without my teammates, I can't do anything...” Terrelle Pryor, Ohio State’ Quarterback and 2010 Rosebowl winner.

Our networks can be a source of camaraderie, and affinity in achieving our goals and even solace on those occasions when we aren’t producing the results we want. As an added bonus, we can leverage our resolutions to build relationships and help others achieve their goals.

§ Don’t do it alone

Find out what other people have declared for themselves in 2010 and support them in winning at their resolution games.

§ Get a “resolution partner”

Start a team with people you’d like to get to know better. Every one can set goals and daily actions for their 2010 resolutions, discussing progress against milestones, and stating promises for actions to be taken on weekly calls. Resolution partners support each other without judgment, learning together through success and failure, celebrating victories large and small.

§ Be committed to a structure for your success

Create an action plan, set milestones and take actions! Having a resolution is not the same as being committed to it. Schedule calendar time to review the actions you’ve taken for the day. Setting daily promises to support your resolutions brings intentionality and enables you to be present to what it takes to make your resolution happen.

When we don’t make promises and set milestones, it’s likely that we’ll join the statistics of people who make those New Year’s resolutions that aren’t kept. It’s hard to win a game if you don’t play and keep score!

§ Be a Winner, expect Failure

Being a winner means dealing with failure and defeat on a regular basis. Whether you’re a world champion athlete or corporate mogul, failure is a necessary element of winning. Be prepared to stay committed to your resolution, it’s essential to winning.

As you review the promises of the day, you may find that you didn’t take the actions you promised, or that you didn’t get the results you expected. Don’t give up. Set new promises, take new actions and share your successes with others!

2010. A Year of Resolutions Fulfilled!

Imagine what it would be like to accomplish all of your resolutions this year! Imagine who you would be by making promises, and taking actions that create the results you want. Imagine that you are that person already – because you are!

Have an awesome 2010! I’ve gotta feeling that it’s gonna be a great year!

Bound by Trust

It's logical, even necessary, to think of how the people we include in our Networks help us. We count on our Networks to support our objectives, reach our aspirations and to fulfill our possibilities. Our Networks are the leading source for employment opportunities, advice, mentoring and other valuable insights that make a difference in our day-to-day lives.

The Extraordinary Network is bound by trust.

The Extraordinary Network is based on formative relationships. Unlike networks primarily formed by distant connections and weak ties, the Extraordinary Network relies on personally investing trust in another, before that trust has been earned. Extending trust to the people in your Network powerfully generates loyalty and value in your connections.

Sometimes, we count on the People in our Networks to deliver favors and promises that go unfulfilled. These unmet expectations often result in disappointments that distance us from the connection, causing estrangement and an inability to influence through the people we are connected to. We are all human and it is easy to be let down, especially when the disappointment comes with something that’s at stake. When this happens, it’s important to remember that the Extraordinary Network is fueled by your generosity and willingness to trust. The actions others fail to take may disappoint you but, be mindful not to characterize the person as a disappointment.

There’s no need to step over promises that are broken. Addressing the matter, rather than ignoring the individual provides valuable feedback and can restore the relationship at a higher level of influence and performance. Always remember that "Your" actions are what matter most, in any relationship.

The Extraordinary Network is all about you, and your Extraordinary being!

The Extraordinary Power of Introductions

The Extraordinary Power of Introductions

There are times when my life seems to have a pervasive theme.

In recent weeks, the theme is “the extraordinary power of introductions.”

If you are a sales professional, the value of an introduction is likely very obvious to you. For human beings developing powerful personal networks, the value of an introduction is even greater! Every introduction conveys trust and personal credibility. However, I’ve seen many professionals (myself included) squander opportunities to form influential relationships because the value of the introduction was misunderstood.

A great example of this is the growth of my consulting practice from the many referrals of former colleagues, clients and consulting peers. I always thought referrals were great – there was already a purpose to address - and introductions were “nice, polite, but not necessary.” Introductions appeared valuable when and if there was a direct connection to an opportunity for business. To my own surprise, I had formed that conclusion without ever really considering what distinguishes the referral from the introduction.

Referrals Resolve Needs

Referrals and Introductions are both important to generating business, developing communities and fostering “the network.” A succinct description of the Referral’s role is “ it resolves an expressed need.” In a transactional world, the Referral is king!

Referrals are most often in response to a specific need, or request and when successful, the result is a problem or need resolved. When we ask for a Referral (and we do it all the time) we are stating a need. “Do you have a good physician, attorney, do you know of a nice Mediterranean restaurant?”

Introductions Are Catalysts for Possibility

At a recent conference hosted by the Merrill Lynch Women’s Exchange, Edythe DeMarco, a successful Merrill Lynch financial advisor, shared how she was employing introduction strategies to become connected to a new network of women in the medical profession. She had clients who wanted to acknowledge her for providing valuable information, and recognize her contributions by introducing her to other successful women. Her excitement was palpable! Suddenly, what I heard her say was more than “that’s nice, polite, but not necessary.” What I heard was “I don’t know what you’ll create, but I want you to know people I know.” The Introduction emerged as a catalyst for possibility and, I was incredibly excited, too.

The Introduction may appear less immediate, considering the transactional nature of the referral. However, the Introduction is an essential element of extraordinary relationships. Introductions are powerfully backed by “the full, faith and credit” of the individual introducing you and are open to whatever you are out to create with another person.

The Introduction states an association to someone trusted, and conveys credibility, allowing a space for exploration, collaboration, and ultimately a relationship.

Perhaps the best thing about the Introduction is the expression of confidence that a “need” is not required to merit the connection. That kind of confidence emboldens the potential for an unconditional, powerful and extraordinary relationship.

Extraordinary Networks Arise from Trusting Connections.

On occasion, the phrase “Networking” provokes an image of strangers on a mission, delivering smart-sounding elevator pitches, engaging in animated small talk, and quick to offer network collectibles, otherwise known as business cards.

Not long ago, the business card often outlasted any recollection of the conversation, the person, or the potential for the connection. Thankfully, the practice of networking has become a stickier proposition. Shortly after meeting, we extend invitations to link and join, and make requests to follow. Social networking technology facilitates the follow-up and the creation of communities however; technology alone does not create trust or develop the connection.

Trust is the life-blood of your network.

Credibility, support and influence are the by-products of trust, and enable your network to have currency. Stated simply, the value of a network is only as great as the trust present in the relationship. Trust equals currency. Be careful not to equate proximity or frequency of interaction (with a connection) with trust.

I offer the following as an example of a relationship that may be, “close, but not trusting. “

Your colleague and neighbor Eddie is someone you see almost daily. You lent him $500.00 he promised to repay last summer, but now the subject doesn’t come up, unless you mention it. It’s likely you trusted him more before you lent him the money, than you do now. And you may still consider your connection to Eddie a close one. However, close does not equal trust.

Trust begins with you.

Following-up and being in contact, and are important to the evolution of your network. The more your new and existing connections learn about you, and what you’re up to, the more affinity you’re likely to generate. Beware, in are efforts to create value for others in our networks, there are times we make promises we don’t keep. If this sounds familiar, it’s important to clear the air. Mistakes happen, we all make them. However, avoiding the people in our network because of our own mistakes is dangerous. Avoidance is a leading cause of loss of credibility and trust and relegates our networks to “ordinary,” non-productive relationships.

Being responsible means owning our mistakes, establishing new promises, and communicating our results – whatever they are!

Networks work when connections are trusted.

Sometimes, credibility comes from the people you are connected to because THEY have amazing credibility. Their integrity is big enough to carry others. They are the examples that “a powerful network elevates the leader.” That credibility comes from integrity.

Integrity is essential to an Extraordinary Network. Integrity implies something that is whole, and being whole allows you to own your promises and your actions when they work, and even when they don’t.

When trust is formed, it is the trusting connection that gives you power to form an extraordinary network.

Not Your Daddy's Old Boys Network...

I posted this on the Forte Foundation blog for their upcoming Women's Conference. There's a lot of talk about networking and social networks but, so many people are still uncomfortable with what it means "to network." In my coaching practice, I work with clients to manage their networks and the conversation often begins from the vantage point of this post. 

You’ve got career aspirations, the MBA, and experience. You have a network of colleagues and former classmates and there was a time when that was all you needed to be assured of a “good career.” Times have changed and in a global market, battling a global recession, it will take something more to make you unstoppable in the wake of the unpredictable. That something more is an “Extraordinary Network.”

Unlike the “Old Boys Network” of the past, having an extraordinary network gives you access to people, ideas, thinking and opportunities that lie outside traditional, hierarchical, insular networks that have been defined by upbringing, education and employment.  If your Dad retired with a gold watch, after a 35-year career with the same employer, rest assured you probably won’t. 

Professionals in today’s workforce are vulnerable to continued market shifts, including globalization and M&A, that disrupt existing career paths while creating new, yet to be defined, opportunities. In fact, it’s likely that your post-MBA career will be the source of numerous on-ramp events in the form of new roles, new cities, new companies, and industries. And there will be transitional, off-ramp experiences prompted by your own life choices, and unforeseen organizational events (i.e. restructurings, relocations, and reductions in force) causing intermittent dislocation, and even economic insecurity.  Whether you are on-ramping, off-ramping or holding steady, your extraordinary network is the access to influence, innovation, and choice in a changing world.

The “Extraordinary Network” is diverse, resilient and adaptive to your life’s objectives. Where the “Old Boys Network” was often created by tenure, longevity and hierarchy, the Extraordinary Network involves the relationships we have, and the relationships we actively create to make things happen, that wouldn’t have happened otherwise. The Extraordinary network is dynamic and actively managed throughout your career. It’s vibrancy gives life to the axiom “the Network elevates the leader,” generating expansive influence and support to deliver powerful results.